Permanent Transition: Put your war face on.

Monday, March 31, 2014

Put your war face on.

I thought the hardest thing to do was watch my daughter from outside a plastic box, not being able to hold her, not being able to comfort her when I seen her little face scrunched up crying. I was wrong. The hardest thing I've ever done is send my child off for someone to cut her open. It didn't help that the surgeon took forty forevers to come explain the surgery to me and get my consent. He literally walked in her room two hours after she was taken back for preop and thirty minutes before her surgery.

Okay, I lied. The hardest thing I've done in my life thus far, is to walk into the procedure room and see Scarlett paralyzed. They tried to tell me to think of it as resting peacefully. No, my child was and still is at this moment paralyzed.I'm talking full body paralyzation. No twitches when I tickle her feet. She's been twitching some since she's been out of surgery for several hours. I still have this irrational fear that she's going to be paralyzed for life. God help me.

I am exhausted. I have stayed up for 48 hours before and not been as tired as I am now. I have to wake up every 4 1/2 hours at night to pump. I'm constantly running during the day. I am so tired. I need one full day of uninterrupted sleep. Ha! Maybe when she's like 5 and can spend a whole weekend with her GiGi or her Nana.

I am so thankful for the continued support and prayers we've been getting from you all. It means more than y'all know! Now if we can just get y'all to order some t-shirts.

https://www.booster.com/babyscarlett